Already got asked if we're dating
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Randomize
