Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
