Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
