Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize