The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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