in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
