Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
