i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
