he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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