Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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