id be glad to
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize