the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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