You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
im six kinds of drunk right now
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
