I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize