Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
