My Higher Power is John Stamos
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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