why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
