you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
