i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize