Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
