I'm going to jail i love you
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
