how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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