Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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