I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
