The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
