I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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