then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
