saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
