Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
