fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
