I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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