I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize
