Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
