Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
