I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
