Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
