i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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