The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
