ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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