i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
