i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
