i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
