I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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