You smell like a Billy Joel song
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
