Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
