Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
