Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
