I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
