Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
