he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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