Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
