Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
