Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize