the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We got so high we made milksteak
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
