He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
