So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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