Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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