I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
