I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
