They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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