I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
