And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Farmville is her only friend.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
