Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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