I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
