I only kidnapped one of them. chill
P.S. I can't hear my feet
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
